In my line of work the people I constantly come in contact with and work with are parents particularly mums and brides. For a young girl still trying to sort out her love life, this can be quite challenging at times. I love the whole essence of love and yet I never seem to be able to hold on to it. Most times when I’m doing bridal make-up, the brides can’t seem to stop gushing about their husbands to be. At first, its endearing, then it becomes amusing and then, it makes me begin to wonder, what the hell the matter with me is.
I’ve been dating since I was 18 years old. Now I’m 26 . It seems like a million men have passed through my life in years and all of them, I have some regrets over. At a time, it seemed like it was just getting worse. The last guys seemed to do the worst things. I remember all of them. The un-ambitious one who only wanted to travel abroad, the so called “star” who thought he was God’s gift to women, the on and off relationship with the obese medical student who seemed to come alive whenever he made me cry and left me feeling so insecure I didn’t know my left from my right anymore, the pediatrician who so cruel he could admit that he’d lost his conscience, the guy who I believed was younger than me though he’d never admit it, et cetera. I remember all of them so clearly. Point is, all of them ended painfully.
For some people, love comes so easily and naturally. I honestly wonder how they do it. Sometimes I wish I could ask the brides and mothers (my clients) how they met and stayed with their husbands and see if I could apply those principles too. But of course I can’t do that.
It’s a constant struggle and I ask myself how I got it wrong. Is it my temper, my appearance, my attitude, my beliefs, my principles, or is it just me? Am I jinxed? You know, sometimes I almost believe that there’s something wrong with me. But then I remind myself that I’m not alone in this situation. Countless others including most of the girls I know are passing through the same thing.
It’s now time to ask, what exactly is the problem? Is it the guys? Are they expecting too much from us girls? Do the guys just wanna have fun? Or is it the girls? Are we hoping for more than we can get? What does one do to fall in love and stay in love? It’s one thing to fall in love and another thing to sustain the fire of that love. Love needs to be nourished and cultivated carefully, they say. But how does one do this? What is the special approach we need to learn?
People say everybody needs somebody to love. I believe that’s true. I know guys who are looking for that special girl and the same applies to girls but compared to the number of people looking for love, only a few actually find it and keep it. What do we do?
Now, I for one have chosen to find inner happiness, at least before I get the guy. My line of reasoning is that people who are not happy and don’t appreciate themselves cannot bring happiness and appreciate others as well. I’m a young girl with a long life ahead of me and one thing I’ve got plenty of is hope. The fervent hope that I get everything I wish for.