I just had my heart broken again. No, I’m serious. At my age, this is not an easy thing to experience, trust me. It actually was a surprise. I thought I had seen it all and that nothing could ever shake my heart again but how wrong I was. It hurt like hell. My heart literally bled, almost to draining point. I experienced it in a whole different way and I learnt an important lesson along the way.
I always talk about life and its twists and turns and how we experience different things. But when it comes to lessons learnt along the way, it’s a whole different kettle of fish. I’ve learnt how to be strong for myself and for those around me, how to laugh through my tears, how to guard my heart, how to suck my disappointments in and hold my head up high, but perhaps most importantly, I’ve learnt how to accept me for who I am.
I’m a crazy person, that much is obvious. I think what makes me so crazy is the fact that I’m almost like a child at times. I’m a full grown adult and yet, can act, pout and sulk like a little baby when I don’t get what I want. The flip side of that coin is that little things bring me great pleasure and I gleefully giggle when something pleases me. I think the only time I act my age is when it concerns money and my business. Before you ask, I might as well tell you that I’m into a business where I get to be with little kids daily. And I love it.
But I learned something important this time around. A lesson that hopefully, I won’t be forgetting soon. Never settle for less. When you know you deserve better than what you’re getting, don’t hesitate to take action. Don’t hope that it’ll be better with time. It’ll never be better. It’ll only become increasingly worse. My heart is broken, yes. And I feel so bad but what makes me feel even worse is the fact that I knew deep inside me that this was going to happen but I hoped, prayed and hoped again that it would be better. I was wrong.
Like me, so many women make this dreadful mistake. That the man would suddenly realize how much the woman loves him and become a new leaf. If it works, I really don’t know because I’m yet to find a situation in which it actually did. Ladies, if he ain’t loving you today, he’s not going to have an epiphany tonight and wake up loving you tomorrow. It doesn’t work that way. Eventually, it gets to a point where you know that it was never really going to be and by then, you are so attached and it takes the grace of God, an incredibly strong will, large amounts of determination and the courage of a lion to walk away.
So as I begin the amazing journey of my late 20’s (stop rolling your eyes jor), I pray for a lot of things. But most importantly, I pray for strength, courage and wisdom. I know I’m going to need it in large doses. But I also know that I’ve come this far with sheer guts and I couldn’t be held down. Guts, strength, courage and wisdom? That’s a killer combination and that’s where my confidence comes from.