The Trouble With Love

This Love

This Love

I’ve always said my husband is gonna be the most pampered man in world history by a woman. Of course, this may be an exaggerated boast but you can guess the general picture. If you love music like I do, I’m sure you have listened to the song by Destiny’s child-cater to you. That’s the general idea. Now would be a good point to envy him. Yeah yeah.
But it hasn’t really worked out like that thus far. Oh, I date. I fall in love. I experience the ‘ooooh’ and ‘ahhhhh’ moments. The general love thing. Its about the words you tell me. Its about the way you treat me. Its about the look in your eyes when you look at me. Its about the things money can and can’t buy. The thing is, I begin to build my word around you bit by bit. Consciously and unconsciously, you become my happiness factor. My world begins and ends with you. Bliss right? Okay! fa-fa-fa-foul!

My first experience with love was when I was 18. If you gasp, get off my blog. My friend, I was in year 1 and 18 is the legal age for such things so give me a break. He was in year 2 and I thought the stars were in his eyes. He’d cook for me, walk me to class, and told me all the things I wanted to hear.

To cut that story short, it turned out he was dating 5 of us in the same class and the girl’s picture that he was told me was his cousin, turned out to be girlfriend no 1. I should have learned right? Lets talk about the obese medical student who made my sister gasp when she saw his humongous size (errr…she pulled me to a corner and warned me not to ever let him lay on me else I wouldn’t ever need to diet again as I would be squashed beyond redemption).

He was the most intelligent person I knew and he we dated for 5 years before finally having sex. If you were thinking his jingle bells were not working, sorry to disappoint you. All members of my family knew him and they came to like him. He was so courteous to them and gradually my neighbours stopped opening their mouths in shock whenever he came down from his car. The thing is, I never even saw his size. I never noticed that people would always stare at us when we went out. He was the love of my heart and that was that. When he left, I was so sick my sisters had to swallow their desire to prick him with a needle so he could evaporate and call him to come see me. Infact, beg him sef. He didn’t come which is good, cos I don’t think he would have left with complete body parts. My sisters? Never mess with them. Underline that.

“Eseosa, you mean after everything I did to you, someone can still break your heart? Don’t you ever learn?” That was the Idiot’s reaction when he learned that I’d just gone through another heart wrenching relationship and called me. I hope a more courageous girl has punched his lights out on my behalf. But that’s the thing with love.

“…like a drug that makes you blind, it’ll fool you everytime…” I titled this article after the hit song ‘The trouble with love’ by powerful vocalist, Kelly Clarkson. Its one of my favourites. The words are so real and if your love life has been topsy-turvy like mine, then you can totally relate. Love has fooled me many times. They say you can either choose to fall or not but somehow my brain doesn’t function that way. When love calls, I answer. “…I’m sadder but I’m wiser too…I swore I’d never love again…swore my heart would never mend…said love wasn’t worth the pain…but then I heard it call my name…”

I have sworn so many times to stay away from the monster called love. I get closer to my friends, we grab drinks and do the whole jolly good fellow thing. Problem is, my heart never gets the memo “…the trouble with love is…it doesn’t care how fast you fall…and you can’t refuse the call…see you’ve got no say at all…”. See the part about not having a say in it? That sucks!

“…that story always ends the same…Me, standing in the pouring rain…”
That how it always ends. With me anyway. Am I doing something wrong? Am I unlucky in love? Have I just been meeting the wrong guys? I honestly wish I could answer. But no matter the trouble that love brings, somehow we still end up craving it. Oh by the way, I’m in love right now (AGAIN!!!!!) so I’m keeping my fingers crossed. Wish me luck.


39 thoughts on “The Trouble With Love

  1. Seems we all don’t learn from the heart breaks do we? Well if we do, how do we finally meet Mr/Miss right? Best of luck my sister and nice piece as usual…

  2. Another awesome!!!!! blend of humour,witts and truth all mixed and served in a way that only yOu can deal….I guess that’s why the heart is an elastic organ,it can expand and contract according to the demand of the present situation…I know this “physical muscular heart” thing might not be the best example to cite the flexibility or dilly dalliness of loving and “unloving” because its common knowledge that it’s not as responsible for pumping love as it is for pumping blood(but anyhooos..u get my drift).I read something somewhere that said,”love is not a fight but its worth fighting for”…I think love,the need to love and to give love are concepts that fuel our very existence…and no price should be too high to pay to get it,no risk should be too risky,I mean we were made from the most perfect expression and embodiment of love himself,so to deny ourselves this love,is to deny ourselves life,to ignore the chase that potential love brings is as good as ignoring to breath because you have a cold…so what I’m I driving at with all this long tori…wherever love is,go for it..whether you are sure or not about it..just go for it…and if in the end it proves to be a mirage…then turn ur gaze elsewhere and look for it again…never stop looking for love..never stop breathing.

    1. Never stop looking right? That’s easier said than done o. But then even when we say we are done, we aren’t because our hearts keep searching, whether we are aware of it or not. Thank you Tony.

  3. Aha I knew it! I guessed as much that u just might be in love again when I saw your tweets this morning.*big smile* Gosh I know that feeling!! Babe the truth of the matter is we tend to find love in the wrong places! Sometimes the ones we wanna love so badly are busy loving themselves or even loving someone else. I have come to a conclusion it will find you someday. When and where you least expect it. I guess guys usually can tell when ladies want it too badly and they just sit back and enjoy the way you dance to their mellow tunes and as soon as they are bored of it they wanna see anoda dancer. You really never know, but I believe it will find you and when it does you just will know****wink* wink. But how can u tell if he’s feeling you as you feeling him?Cos it seems as though we ladies love too quickly, all he has to do is say some sweet nothings that he knows you like to hear and kerching , he’s won d jackpot. I guess we never really know until we get involved.Babe just let it flow!! on that note I wish you the best and hope he loves u back just as much. Take care babe and guard your heart.

  4. Most times, we’re not consulted before our hearts decide to fall.
    Most times, we have no say in it.
    As tough as it sounds, we only just have to dust ourselves up and live the life.
    If this be some consolation, so be it. Namely: most people’s cinderella story mostly only last from d moment the meet their love interest to a few weeks after he/she has said YES. The rest of the story, whether heavenly or earthly, must be the result of dilligent effort/hardwork of d couple.
    One thing though, ur love experience so far is the lot of us all

  5. The story of my life! I started dating before 18 though. I wish you all the luck in the world. Use it while you can though. I’ll be needing it soon(hopefully) myself. 🙂

  6. Hahahahahaha
    Soso u ehn
    Don’t worry dear its all gona b great ds time n end up in marital bliss
    Loving is a good feeling am glad u even know. Never stop loving girl

  7. Le Sigh!! Ese just blogged my mind… nobody ever broke my heart does it mean i have never fallen in love… Best of luck girl… Wish me luck too found my self on that lane :* :*

  8. Lol. Don’t get it twisted, Love is a beautiful thing. It so good, Loving somebody, when somebody loves you back! That’s the only way sha, if not…FUCK LOVE!!!

  9. Beautifully written as usual.
    This love ehn, I wish I can catch it n beat it blue-black, I woulda been happy, but as it is, we are helpless n must definitely fall in love one day, one day. Our only prayer is that, it treats us right, after all the heart breaks may we end up with someone that’s worthy of our love and vice-versa!

    Ehen, also forgot to add that for those that broke our hearts… their loss!!*TongueOut*

  10. Hmmm…This heart is a betrayer…it never listens to the brain. I have broken every rule in the book for single girls,those give it some time b4 u date another guy,don’t give him all of ur heart,don’t be the first to call during a fight….bla bla bla. I never seem to learn,but the good news is somehow with the honesty,the plainness and the good heart,some guy will come one day for us,the guy that will be worth it,the one that it would be okay to fall totally in love with without being dissapointed. My sister, its their loss,they just might realise it later on, I wish you all the best girl,give it ur best,no holding back and watch God raining his showers of happiness on ur relationship.

  11. Most times I want to type a response but I chicken out becasue I can’t seem to find the right words to use on/for/with you. You are such a delectable handful. Kill me, send your thugs but I’m gonna say it anyway. Love is an emotion that we should know better than to let it into our life. I mean, seriously, what does it do for us? Ninety per cent of the time, we spend wishing/hoping/praying for it. But it is just a torture if you ask me, I know you didn’t but I’m just gonna say/write it anway…you can kill beat me up later…

    Most relationships are built on this emotion called love. Friendship put its essence on the emotion. Families and friends had based their existences on this emotion and God trusts us to do things with relation to this emotion. But isn’t it all too much, doesn’t it just fade away and only leave us with a shadow of its self? Don’t get me wrong, I love love and you know it, but joining the majority to give it all these unnecessary attention, it just doesn’t rob off on me the right way. I do want to love and be loved but love isn’t gonna dictate its terms to me. I decide how/why/when/who I want to love. I have been messed up by this love that I have lost all trust in ig. Many sensible ones, like me, have tried to run away from it and have succeded but with cuts and bruises. Many ignore it only to end up in its clutch when they least expect it, and that is the most gruesome if one is unlucky. So the Giants that had fallen as a result of this emotion, I pity you. The commoners had come into greatness when touched by this emotion, I hope you get wiser and watch your steps. This man is a tricky one, he won’t tell you when he is taking his leave if he decides to.

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