Category Archives: Just saying

Faith that works

 

My friends say I don’t believe in destiny. It’s not like I don’t believe in it but the thing is, I have always believed that if you want something, you’d better go and get it as it will not jump into your lap. Who we are today is formed by our environment, our circumstances and the experiences that we go through and if you have lived my life or better still, gone through my experiences with me, you might understand why I can be cynical at times.

Don’t get it wrong. I believe in faith. You know, in 2008, I attended Bible School (I know, I know, it’s unbelievable. Even I don’t believe it myself sometimes, especially when certain lewd thoughts enter my head), Word of Faith Bible Institute.  I graduated with a distinction but there was a course that so worried my pastor that he had to call me into his office for a chat. As you can guess, that course was ‘Faith’. It was the only course I had a C. The rest were A’s, except Faith. I even passed Prayer.

Me? If a prayer is more than 15 minutes, my dear, you can be sure I am most likely thinking of something else. And I don’t pray in crowds. I just can’t shut out what the other people are saying. You know how Pentecostals like to shout as if the messenger angel is hard of hearing. So by the time, prayers are over, your ears are ringing like you stood near a cathedral communion bell. Suffice to say, the best place for me to pray still remains, a quiet place where I am all alone.

So my pastor called me and asked to talk to me. Didn’t I believe in faith? Was my faith level low? What was my relationship with my Lord and Savior? Did I doubt things because they were not being manifested in the physical (which is a nice way of asking if I am a doubting Thomas)? Did I need extra lessons? How could he help me? Plenty questions. Some I had answers to and some I preferred to remain mute because I simply didn’t have answers and there was no reason why I didn’t have answers.

I do believe in faith. A lot. But Faith has been so bastardized that its hard to understand it anymore. Now, I’ve learned to be practical. If the skies are grey, most likely, its gonna rain. So take an umbrella or a raincoat (Do people still wear that sef)? If you missed your period and you have been sexually active, you are most likely pregnant, so congrats. Safe delivery. If you haven’t read all year and its 30 minutes to the exam, you are most likely going to fail, so start saving for the next year’s school fees. Yes, there is nothing that prayer cannot solve but please let’s exercise a bit of restraint and take responsibility for our actions. I don’t understand what faith has got to do with certain issues, honestly. It is just so ridiculous sometimes.  

Back to the destiny thing, If what will be will be, then why struggle for success at all? Oya, let’s all get naked and go dancing in the rain and hope that at the end of the year, we would all be successful, famous and stinkingly rich. Let’s all fold our hands and not work but hope and fast and pray that manna will fall from heaven like it did in the old testament (meanwhile, God fit just vex and it go happen o. It go be like ‘feem’).

Be honest. ‘No food for lazy man’. We all see that at the back of lorries and trailers, especially the old, rickety ones that look like they are about to fall on the nearest vehicle (and sometimes, sadly, they actually do). Forget the old lorry, remember the message. Because that’s the koko these days. Even yahoo boys gats to hustle. Sometimes they don’t even bathe for weeks, or brush their teeth but camp out at hidden cyber cafes or in their homes ‘yahoo-ing’ away. Trust me, I would know. I’m a Bini girl, we practically invented yahoo-yahoo (but don’t quote me anywhere).

I believe in practical faith. Yeah, I think I can safely call it that. Faith that actually makes sense. Not the type that the big man upstairs listens to in stunned silence and then erupts into laughter at the level of silliness. Practical faith works. At least for me. It is a rocking combination of realism, practicality and faith. Make what you will out of it, but that is what works for me. That being said, one thing I’m beginning to believe more and more is that the lines just fall into the right places at the right time if you are taking the right steps. Confused? Bear with me for a while.

I am happy where I am right now. I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be. I might have taken my own sweet time getting here but I kinda feel this is a place I really should have been. Will I remain here? I honestly do not know. All I know is that it’s a journey. Last week, one of my ex-boyfriends proposed to me. As in, the serious stuff. And the truth is, If he hadn’t broken my heart (whatever was left of it anyway), looking at him now, I would never have been happy with him. Hindsight is so much more truthful. There are some journeys that teach us lessons and are meant to guide us. There are some that are just a waste of energy and time. Some experiences teach us, guide us, give us a map and help us re-assess our journey and some are just breathers – meant to distract us for a while. I believe people will end up where they are meant to be as long as they don’t stop moving in the right direction.

I don’t have all the answers. I may not even be making much sense (I knew I sucked at writing, but the wise ones said to never give up, right?). But one answer I do have is, with a bit of time and luck (I don’t believe in luck. The damn thing has never worked for me. Now, Grace loves me. That I believe in), everything will work out in the end. If its not okay, then its not the end. Now, that is Faith that works. How the heck did I ever get a C?

Advertisements

Free is Valuable.

There is this general saying that”whatever you get free, you (may not) won’t value it”

I read something about Flamini few weeks back.

Now to people who are not familiar with football like Bankole and Mister Mo, Getting a player on a free transfer simply means that you didn’t pay a single kobo to get him, all you need do is to agree on his wages and the player become yours.

Since Arsenal signed Flamini on a free transfer, he has become the integral part of our team, his work rate has been one of our protective shield for our Center Back. We now concede less goals, his tackles have been timely and passes superb. He is sure a great asset to the team.

“Flamini had a job to do on Hamsik and he did it very well. We stopped them counter-attacking.” – Wenger

Now back to the the general assumption. Yes I don’t feel comfortable using the word ‘believe’ again. Because you are offering a freebie doesn’t mean that the receiver won’t appreciate it. The assumption that because it is free means that it’s of low value should be discarded.
“Free offers may not devalue products at all when they are paired with an expensive purchase.” Some of my finest designs are freebies. I value them so much that after giving it out, I wonder if I should have kept it and sold it to another client. Price is not necessarily a reflection of value.

“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”
– Mary Oliver

How many of us remember the #ChildNotBride design by @IamAyomiDotun Can you say that design has no value because it is free?

The value of a freebie is often perceived as higher than a typical cost.” – Prof. Ariely

Even when you’d lost everything you thought there was to lose, somebody came along and gave you something for free.” – Jenny Valentine

Our main focus should be on whether what we got for free is serving its purpose. If it does, it is then more valuable than what you spent money on and isn’t getting the job done. Value doesn’t means high price. The real value of a person or thing is his/her/its availability and benefits.

I am Olawale.
I am a Reader.

You can quit! No one needs you to be a hero.

Winners Never Quit, and Quitters Never Win

Have you ever heard people saying “don’t quit, “don’t stop”, “don’t give up” I have heard it over and over again, I believe it and have tried to live by it…..yes ‘tried’!!!

images(1)“Tough times never last…Tough people do”

How do you know when to throw in the towel? Sometimes, while trying to be a hero, we cause more harm than good, to ourselves and to the people around us. We want to get things done at all cost without looking at the ripple effects. We keep toughening our muscles till it gets torn and we burn out. We push and shove until we are completely spent and overwhelmed.  We believe the quitters are weak and therefore, whenever we notice that we are slowing down, and the steam is drying up, we push ourselves harder and harder. Quitting can be a good thing when to keep going will deplete you of useful and much needed energy.

Have we noticed how we get frustrated and bitter each time we appear to be slowing down? We want to achieve our targets at all cost and by every possible means, even if it causes us injury either physically, mentally or emotionally. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against perseverance, but while we persevere, we should always apply wisdom. Knowing your capability and strength helps to know when to pause and re-think…..and when to stop outrightly. I have been at a stage where I got stuck with a project spending hours and days trying to “conquer” it while leaving other stuff undone. It was until I let go and faced the other project, that the solution to the previous project came. The persistence required to achieve hard-to-reach goals may not be worth it.  We all do need a breather. And sometimes a change of direction and purpose is required. We need to get out of the heroism confinement and smell the air. Its okay to pause….stop and give yourself that much needed break.

Our take is that persistence is good, but there are times where the most adaptive thing is to say is,This goal is not going to work out’ – Miller and Wrosch 

Whether it’s a difficult project, a failing relationship, an unhappy marriage, a job that’s going nowhere or something as simple as a boring book, we sometimes stick with a doomed endeavor longer than we should in order to justify our original decision and the time, money, or effort we’ve already put into it. How many of us set unrealistic expectations for ourselves? Sometimes quitting is strategic, and sometimes it can be your best possible plan. 

Stop being so afraid of breathing and letting things go. Every time you play the hero card, you are jeopardizing the next game.

I am @famuyideolawale

I am a reader not a Writer.

We Need A Little Respect Around Here

respect

“Respect gives a positive feeling of esteem or deference for a person….To feel or show deferential regard for; to esteem. I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me… All I ask is that you respect me as a human being”. -Jackie Robinson

I’ve been using social media for some years now, and I can say that it has made my work and networking easier. I have definitely met people who have impacted my life and who have taught me life lessons along the way. Facebook used to be my default social networking platform. My migration from Facebook to Twitter was not easy, but after @MrBankole introduced and explained it to me, I fell in love with Twitter. But I am not here to write about my love for Twitter.

As much as I love the liberty to share thoughts, I have an issue with tweeps (Twitter users) who display a lack of respect for other users. A couple of weeks back, I came on my timeline (TL) to see a tweep insulting and talking down another tweep. I was mortified and angry, but as usual, I didn’t say anything, because it looks like it is becoming a norm – an acceptable practice – in the tweet sphere to be disrespectful. I find this really sad. 

Now, while you and someone may have conflicts, it is bad taste to get on your TL to insult and sometimes curse at them. This is a really shameful thing. Like the quote above says, you don’t need to like me or dislike me. All I ask is to be treated like a human being. Yet I see people meet others on Twitter, and because of difference of opinion, they talk the other person down. My question is, If it were a member of your family, is that how you will talk to the person? To make matters worse, you will see an undergraduate calling a business executive names, all because he/she dignifies by following or interacting with them.

A Word to Disrespectful People

Truth be told, there are some people who follow you that if you met in real life, you won’t even be able to say anything, not because they are gods, but in the hierarchy of life, they are big and you are far down the ladder. Some of these people you talk down at are much bigger than you in real life. Their impact on the society is much more than you can fathom. Were some of them to list their qualifications and achievements, your BSc would be just a piece of paper in comparison. This is why I don’t blame some tweeps who won’t exchange tweet-chat with you because they value their integrity.

From a different angle, how would you feel if a tweep you have insulted and cursed at happen to be the Personnel Manager of a firm you are applying to for a job? You already know the answer, I suppose. You can disagree with someone without being silly about it. Imagine a 23-year old tweep hurling insults at a 36-year old tweep, all because they disagree. If they were your family, would you dare such? Leave social media out of this, our culture is laced with respect for elders and vice versa.

Lastly, to the “Overlords”, your followers are privileges. Were your five thousand followers to just un-follow you, who would you be tweeting at? Treat them with respect. In the words of Albert Einstein “Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized”.

 

I am @famuyideolawale 

I am a reader, not a writer

 

Aristotle, Alaska and other random thoughts.

So today I thought about a lot of things. Though I may not look it and I certainly don’t act it, I do think a lot, you know. My brother calls me a ‘worrier’ and my sister calls me a ‘thinker’, not in d philosophical sense though. I’m not Aristotle. But then on second thoughts, Aristotle isn’t so bad. Even Shafe says it. I really have to do something about that.

The thought of writing this article came to me in the bathroom. Yes, right at the moment when I was scrubbing away at my arms. I have big arms so it takes a little while to get it really clean (at least in my mind) so I had time to let my mind drift. I was taking a bath in my office after office hours. I don’t know why I had to include that but I’m not deleting it.

I just remembered. Shafe hasn’t called me o. How dare he forget to call his bestie! I mentioned him in a tweet but I haven’t gotten a reply. Busy as always! Hmmmm. Wait! IK is supposed to be my best friend. So when and how did Shafe take over? Oh! I owe IK so much. He never forgets my birthday. I always forget his. I’m a crappy friend. I don’t blame him but I still love him.

Friendship! Jessy accused me of being a bad friend today because I wouldn’t reduce my fees for holiday services for her kids. I explained to her that I actually was reducing fees to a ridiculous extent because we almost got lost together in secondary school. She laughed. I rolled my eyes. She should know that I don’t joke with money but then I’m crazy about my baby Yuki-Yuki.

I watched Mrs Dabiri pick up her kids today and observed the loving but firm way she handled them and my heart swelled (in a good way). They are wonderful kids. See, I want to have a baby so bad I literally ache. I should get married first right? Yeah I know. I just don’t know if I can wait much longer! Especially after the last experience!

I know I should take the ‘bull by the horns’ approach to certain issues in my life but I’m stalling. I asked myself why and I realised I was afraid. So I can feel fear? That’s new. I’m 27 and for the first time in my life, I’m afraid. Hmmmm. I know I won’t stay afraid for long so I might as well savour it while it lasts! Shake your head at/for me if you like, it’ll have no effect. Its your head afterall, not mine! Shake it to your heart’s content.

Shaky shaky daddy. Remember it? I loved that ad.

This article reminds me of Tee hidee-the overlord of the Ramblers. I feel as if I’m rambling on and on. Now that is a girl that I like! I’d like for us to become closer but she has a penchant for disappearing for long periods of time so I always forget. When I remember, its always at the time when I’m crazy busy. So I postpone till I’m less busy but then she disappears again. The circle goes on and on.

That reminds me. Debo wants to get back in my good books. He’s been making efforts but not hard enough in my opinion. Afterall, he abandoned me and went to get himself another family (Kwami Adadevoh stole my Debo. I’ll never forgive him). So Debo, if you’re reading this and I know you will, you better intensify efforts. Is this the part where I say ‘yimu’? Hmmmm. I’d love to but since I don’t exactly know what it means, I’ll let it pass.

Yimu. I just couldn’t resist it.

Now, how do I end? I’m typing this on my smartphone and my fingers are beginning to hurt. My thumbs especially. This is the first time I’m writing an article on my blackberry and the first time I’m writing in this random manner. I know its different from my normal style but what the heck!

I never said I was normal anyway!

Normal reminds me of a movie I watched 2 days ago and it was set in Normal, Alaska. ‘Snowmageddon’ was the title I think. But then I did say I needed to stop thinking so much. So if I’m wrong…jeez!

My head’s full again…