Tag Archives: twitter

The Insanity of Resolutions

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When we think of a new year, usually we think of new year resolutions and how we can achieve them this time, at least for me. I have always had new year resolutions but the thing is, I really cannot say if I achieve them or not. If I achieve them, I also cannot say if it was a result of my own actions or the universe helped set it up. I can tell you for free the areas in which I have abysmally failed. It’s easy-losing weight and becoming more spiritual. The point to note here is that these two areas are supremely under my control. I’m a foodie, how am I supposed to diet? Or eat small portions when my stomach is so big? I look at Jennifer Hudson and her new stick-thin figure and I think “na by force? Its not like she actually looks better sef. She looks like a shriveled fruit”. I conveniently forget that she set a goal and achieved it. Like how I was always planning to write especially towards the second quarter of last year and for one reason or the other, I didn’t. Olawale Famuyide begged,  cajoled, threatened, etc but it all came to naught. So he got tired and  started writing himself. And I had so much to share as a lot had happened to me.

But thank God for 2014. A promising year. It’s 11:12pm, Beyonce’s ‘Grown woman’ is on replay and of course, there’s no light. Generator to the rescue. Nepa has been terrible this new 2014 (those of you abroad longing to come back home have got to be kidding me). But I am determined to put my thoughts on paper. Telling myself I’ll do it on my tab hasn’t worked thus far so it’s time to try a different approach. Someone I used to know loved telling me that Insanity could be defined as doing something the same way over and over and expecting a different result. I liked that definition. Still do.

I don’t know if it’s the word ‘resolution’ that’s to blame so I’ve decided to take a different approach this new year and cure my insanity. Remove ‘resolution’ and replace with ‘goal’. Gbam! Different approach number 1. Different approach number 2 is to set realistic goals(according to the so-called life strategists that abound everywhere now). Different approach number 3 is to put it down on pen and paper or in this case, my blog. So here goes:

1. Drop to a size 12 by June which is in 6 months time. Or by Jove, maintain this my size 14 jeje. I must never reach this size 16 that it seems I am now o. Never ever. Oruko Jesu, Ise!

2. Develop a closer walk with the Big Man upstairs. Don’t worry, it’s not like we are not on speaking terms, it’s just that I’d like us to be closer. Na him be the way o #nokidding.

3. Create time for my friends and family. Osayi Edosomwan and Joy Akpomeza, I’m genuinely sorry for missing your weddings. I have no excuse and I am heartbroken. Biko, ayam still your sista o. By hook or by crook, I will be a better friend this year. I’m sorry everyone. Aisha, Onyi, Eyitemi, everyone. I love you and you are an important part of my life. But Aisha, that one no mean say you go come from South Africa emptyhanded. Same to you Chidi, I know you are on your honeymoon but bring my new year gift when you dey come back.

4. I want to laugh more and take myself less seriously this year. I don’t know what happened but 2013 became so serious. I frowned more, brooded like a monk and isolated myself for reasons I’m still trying to identify. But no more. This is the year of sunny beaches, laughter, sunshine, real friends, good wine and colourful shorts. Let the good times roll.

Oh, and by the way, I promise to ping more. I promise not to read pings after 3 days and actually reply to legit Facebook and messages, not those nonsense people that keep trying to scam me. Scam a Bini girl? How? i don’t understand. Na we start the business, just saying. Oh yes, I will tweet, whatsapp, chaton, instagram, keek, tumblr and blog. Hmmm, how I’m supposed to do all that in 24 hours with work and all I have no idea but hey, when there’s a will, there’s a way right?

For some reasons 2014 seems so exciting. It seems so promising. The buzz is contagious and it has affected me. I’ve never gotten so much buzz and thrill about a new year. May our expectations not be cut short.

Happy New Year!!!

Xoxo(sebi that’s the way oyibo people do it)

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We Need A Little Respect Around Here

respect

“Respect gives a positive feeling of esteem or deference for a person….To feel or show deferential regard for; to esteem. I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me… All I ask is that you respect me as a human being”. -Jackie Robinson

I’ve been using social media for some years now, and I can say that it has made my work and networking easier. I have definitely met people who have impacted my life and who have taught me life lessons along the way. Facebook used to be my default social networking platform. My migration from Facebook to Twitter was not easy, but after @MrBankole introduced and explained it to me, I fell in love with Twitter. But I am not here to write about my love for Twitter.

As much as I love the liberty to share thoughts, I have an issue with tweeps (Twitter users) who display a lack of respect for other users. A couple of weeks back, I came on my timeline (TL) to see a tweep insulting and talking down another tweep. I was mortified and angry, but as usual, I didn’t say anything, because it looks like it is becoming a norm – an acceptable practice – in the tweet sphere to be disrespectful. I find this really sad. 

Now, while you and someone may have conflicts, it is bad taste to get on your TL to insult and sometimes curse at them. This is a really shameful thing. Like the quote above says, you don’t need to like me or dislike me. All I ask is to be treated like a human being. Yet I see people meet others on Twitter, and because of difference of opinion, they talk the other person down. My question is, If it were a member of your family, is that how you will talk to the person? To make matters worse, you will see an undergraduate calling a business executive names, all because he/she dignifies by following or interacting with them.

A Word to Disrespectful People

Truth be told, there are some people who follow you that if you met in real life, you won’t even be able to say anything, not because they are gods, but in the hierarchy of life, they are big and you are far down the ladder. Some of these people you talk down at are much bigger than you in real life. Their impact on the society is much more than you can fathom. Were some of them to list their qualifications and achievements, your BSc would be just a piece of paper in comparison. This is why I don’t blame some tweeps who won’t exchange tweet-chat with you because they value their integrity.

From a different angle, how would you feel if a tweep you have insulted and cursed at happen to be the Personnel Manager of a firm you are applying to for a job? You already know the answer, I suppose. You can disagree with someone without being silly about it. Imagine a 23-year old tweep hurling insults at a 36-year old tweep, all because they disagree. If they were your family, would you dare such? Leave social media out of this, our culture is laced with respect for elders and vice versa.

Lastly, to the “Overlords”, your followers are privileges. Were your five thousand followers to just un-follow you, who would you be tweeting at? Treat them with respect. In the words of Albert Einstein “Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized”.

 

I am @famuyideolawale 

I am a reader, not a writer

 

And its a wrap!

Its the last day of 2012 and since Nepa won’t let me write, I am typing this on my blackberry. There’s just no way I will let 2012 end without an appreciation message. Hell, No! By fire, by force, whether the Devil likes it (in this case, Nepa), I wee write.

I don’t call myself a writer, not even an amateur one. And some of my articles are ridiculous to say the least but y’all read, laugh and comment. Each time I write something, I always ask myself if I’m being truthful to myself. And I think I can honestly say yes! Nothing but honesty, real and sincere would do for the people who take time to read my ramblings.

Its been a full year. I have laughed and cried. Quite frankly, I think more than any other year. While it would be so easy to condemn this year and shout a big alleluia that’s its gone and never coming back again, it would be untruthful. This year has taught me so many lessons in basically all areas of my life and I have met amazing individuals who make me feel like I can fly! I have been blessed this year and its mostly by things that money cannot or will ever be able to buy.

I protested in the occupy Nigeria fiasco in a major way and it showed me a courage and bravery, I never in my wildest imagination(and I have a very vivid one o) thought was in me. I also started a blog this year and it has been absolutely great. This blog has given me a medium to voice my thoughts and express my craziness. Oh twitter! Thank God for twitter o. Honestly!

2012 was a full year and I am glad. Thank God for it all. 2013 is going to be a most incredible year. A lot of things to look forward to. Oh by the way, I haven’t decided what my new year resolutions are gonna be. But one thing is certain to be included-weight loss-which we all know never really works out for me. Oh well…never give up! I won’t. I won’t. I won’t. I’ll be sure to write something about my past experiences for you guys though.

Gotta go! Season’s greeting folks. Let’s dance gangnam style into the new year. Oh shet! I Didn’t tell you about the parties I attended? Damn! Err…let’s eat, be merry and be the best people we can ever be. Wishing y’all truckloads of happy moments in 2013!

Happy new year!!!
Iselogbe!!!

Bits and Pieces About Me

welcome to me

welcome to me

A while ago, it was the craze to write articles about oneself and it was mostly for people to get to know the author. It was a good thing and I learned a lot about my friends. I still tease a few of them relentlessly about certain things but never wanted to write one. I’m quite a private person, believe it or not and I prefer giving out little bits and pieces about me. It kinda adds to the mystery doesn’t it? For people who have actually read all my articles, I’m sure they’re wondering what the heck I’m talking about, since there’s always a bit of personal info in most of my articles.

Err…I did say bit and pieces, didn’t I?

I recently wrote this to a friend in reply to her read-by-force article about herself. So I figured what the hell! I might as well post it so here goes.

I. I can change d oil in my gen too. Nobody asked me right? Just felt like telling you. Knowledge is never lost. LOL.

II. I don’t know how to dance makosa. For some reason, I’ve never been able to manage it. A whole me! *shakes head*

III. I have 2 twitter crushes and yes, they are males. Why do I have a feeling this information is going to get me in trouble?

IV. I snore but I like to think its a sexy snore. Roll your eyes, na you sabi

V. I wear glasses but used contact lenses for the better part of my university days and my favorite color was blue. I stopped 3 years ago but I’m thinking of starting again. Its very sexy *winks*

VI. I laugh a lot. A lot! It drives my family crazy.

VII. I’m a cancer. Sometimes! Zodiac sign o

VIII. Vodka makes me an optimist. Seriously! I love it.

IX. I’m a really good cook but no one in my family knows I can cook. I’m the last born so they cook for me. So now, you know why I’m lazy *smiles*

X. I am the most stubborn in my house. You must have guessed that already. Come on.

XI. I love short gowns. But I guess you already knew that. You had to have known that.

XII. If my tummy were flatter, I’d be d happiest girl in the world. But it never goes down. Exercise and diet don’t work. Oh well!

XIII. My current best friend is a guy. No, we aren’t dating. Yes, his madam knows me. Thank you very much.

XIV. I can’t wait to be a mom. Named my kids and already buying clothes for them. It scares guys and I don’t care.

XV. Count me outta football except it’s the world cup and the super eagles are playing. I know, I know. *shakes head for myself*

XVI. I’m a spendthrift. On clothes only! I don’t know my statistics and I don’t wanna know! Please!

XVII. I’m not as wild, outgoing and party-loving as people think. I prefer to sit home with noodles and a big piece of turkey and watch movies or read a novel. Now I guess you know why exercise doesn’t work.

XVIII. I love romance. The whole scented candles, red wine, slow music setting. Potential P-setters please take note.

XIX. Getting me mad is as easy as flicking on a light switch but I laugh just as easily.

XXI. I have a very active conscience and I hate it. If I do something wrong to someone, I won’t sleep that night.

XXII. I’m still trying to convince myself that Nigeria is a great country. Feels like I’m lying to myself.

XXIII. I’m a very private person and I like it that way.

XXIV. The number of younger guys who ask me out is crazy. Wish I knew why. But abeg, at least it makes me laugh.

XXV. I look older than I am. Sometimes. But why don’t I ever look younger? Na wa.

XXVI. I’m very decisive. I hem and haw when I have to make a decision but when I do, forgerrit. Its as good as done.

XXVII. I’m kinda innocent/old fashioned though you’ll never guess.

XXVIII. I can’t wait to be a mom. I really can’t wait.

XXIX. I love taking baths. Hot ones please.

XXX. I have a large collection of clothes. Name it, I have it but I don’t have a single suit. Erm…I intend to start buying now. Its never too late.

XXXI. I’m very emotional. Very!

XXXII. I like to eat. Let me re-phrase that. I love to eat! I’m a serious foodist. Jeez! I don’t know what to do anymore o.

that is me

that is me

Nigeria Vs USA (Basketball)

I got this as a blackberry broadcast and i just had to share. Please read and forget your sorrow. LOL

Naija twitter users have described our loss to the USA in the Basketball event at the Olympics in different ways=)) Have fun: 

@ALIBABAGCFR The only way Nigeria can win is if NEPA takes light. USA cannot beat #teamNigeria in the dark!”

@je_mc2: I need to find a way to blame the PDP for this basketball game.

@shina_pitta: They are busy staring at Lebron’s shoes!! lol! RT @Dayodane: These Nigerians are just playing as fans.

@alexanderamosu: Where’s bokoharam when u need them? #NigeriavUSA

@NotBillWalton: Team USA is playing for all the Americans who ever fell for a Nigerian email scam.

@BarexB: If Team Nigeria had played with the anger of Visa rejection, They wud have won!

@ALIBABAGCFR: WHAT IS PAINING ME IS THAT TB JOSHUA DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING?

@olaDEL: Jesus needs to return before 3rd quarter. Otherwise, this is about to be a national disaster

@Ribekahs_Ngeez: Nigeria please, just pretend the ball is fufu and you’re trying to dunk it into egusi soup!=D

@nairaman: If I wanted 2 see africans gettin beat by americans I’d have watched roots #OlympicBasketball

@SoakThatGari: WHO SAID IS THIS THE NIGERIAN PARA-OLYMPIC BASKETBALL TEAM? LOOOOOOOOL OWN UP NOWWW « LMFAO!=))

@Ebuka: I blame the courtside DJ and his bias; playing only American music since!

@eggheader: We’re already collecting names of nominees for Committee to be set up on Why Nigeria Lost to USA. #London2012

@MI_Abaga: Lol… The naija tigers… As in Tiger head battery… LOL!!!!

@dejiawobiyide: the new REMIX….We will We will Mock U!!! Hahaha this DJ dey craze!=))

@Ribekahs_Ngeez: They played Basketball. We played dodge ball!

@Ribekahs_Ngeez: Now they have used us to enter Parle Soda Book of World Records!!! #TeamNigeria

Aristotle, Alaska and other random thoughts.

So today I thought about a lot of things. Though I may not look it and I certainly don’t act it, I do think a lot, you know. My brother calls me a ‘worrier’ and my sister calls me a ‘thinker’, not in d philosophical sense though. I’m not Aristotle. But then on second thoughts, Aristotle isn’t so bad. Even Shafe says it. I really have to do something about that.

The thought of writing this article came to me in the bathroom. Yes, right at the moment when I was scrubbing away at my arms. I have big arms so it takes a little while to get it really clean (at least in my mind) so I had time to let my mind drift. I was taking a bath in my office after office hours. I don’t know why I had to include that but I’m not deleting it.

I just remembered. Shafe hasn’t called me o. How dare he forget to call his bestie! I mentioned him in a tweet but I haven’t gotten a reply. Busy as always! Hmmmm. Wait! IK is supposed to be my best friend. So when and how did Shafe take over? Oh! I owe IK so much. He never forgets my birthday. I always forget his. I’m a crappy friend. I don’t blame him but I still love him.

Friendship! Jessy accused me of being a bad friend today because I wouldn’t reduce my fees for holiday services for her kids. I explained to her that I actually was reducing fees to a ridiculous extent because we almost got lost together in secondary school. She laughed. I rolled my eyes. She should know that I don’t joke with money but then I’m crazy about my baby Yuki-Yuki.

I watched Mrs Dabiri pick up her kids today and observed the loving but firm way she handled them and my heart swelled (in a good way). They are wonderful kids. See, I want to have a baby so bad I literally ache. I should get married first right? Yeah I know. I just don’t know if I can wait much longer! Especially after the last experience!

I know I should take the ‘bull by the horns’ approach to certain issues in my life but I’m stalling. I asked myself why and I realised I was afraid. So I can feel fear? That’s new. I’m 27 and for the first time in my life, I’m afraid. Hmmmm. I know I won’t stay afraid for long so I might as well savour it while it lasts! Shake your head at/for me if you like, it’ll have no effect. Its your head afterall, not mine! Shake it to your heart’s content.

Shaky shaky daddy. Remember it? I loved that ad.

This article reminds me of Tee hidee-the overlord of the Ramblers. I feel as if I’m rambling on and on. Now that is a girl that I like! I’d like for us to become closer but she has a penchant for disappearing for long periods of time so I always forget. When I remember, its always at the time when I’m crazy busy. So I postpone till I’m less busy but then she disappears again. The circle goes on and on.

That reminds me. Debo wants to get back in my good books. He’s been making efforts but not hard enough in my opinion. Afterall, he abandoned me and went to get himself another family (Kwami Adadevoh stole my Debo. I’ll never forgive him). So Debo, if you’re reading this and I know you will, you better intensify efforts. Is this the part where I say ‘yimu’? Hmmmm. I’d love to but since I don’t exactly know what it means, I’ll let it pass.

Yimu. I just couldn’t resist it.

Now, how do I end? I’m typing this on my smartphone and my fingers are beginning to hurt. My thumbs especially. This is the first time I’m writing an article on my blackberry and the first time I’m writing in this random manner. I know its different from my normal style but what the heck!

I never said I was normal anyway!

Normal reminds me of a movie I watched 2 days ago and it was set in Normal, Alaska. ‘Snowmageddon’ was the title I think. But then I did say I needed to stop thinking so much. So if I’m wrong…jeez!

My head’s full again…

A mother like no other

I woke up this morning, and as is the norm nowadays, sleepily reached for my blackberry (which is always by my bedside) and checked my twitter account. That twitter thing is very addictive sha. It even comes before my mail messages now. Well, on twitter I found out it was Mothers day. I lay back on my pillows and let the memories hit. The good ones. I always let the good ones come first so as to strengthen myself for the painful ones. I had so much memories. 

My mother was like no other! That was my first thought and trust me, everyone who ever met her could swear to that. As a child I thought was my mum was invincible. That nothing could touch or defeat her. She was my rock as she was to her children, family members and those she came in contact with. She was strong that way. She was the reason I looked for trouble (them beat me tire when I small), the reason I woke up smiling everyday. As the last born of a single mother in a large but close knit family, I enjoyed a lot of privileges. I was loved and I knew it.  I was spoilt rotten by my mum and everyone else. 

Do you know I slept beside my mum on the same bed till I was 14? Shocking! Even as a adult, I admit that was just crazy. Of course the only reason I stopped sleeping beside her was because she died. Damn. That was when it occurred to me that my mum was mortal. That inspite of her imposing physical build, she was human. I had thought she was a goddess. She was our world. Our joy. Our own. If I was lost when she died, my siblings were even more lost. Nobody knew what to do. My mother had sheltered us, loved us, protected us, provided for us, defended us, fought our battles and given us the world.  I suspect that my far older brothers  and sisters didn’t realize she was mortal too. It took us years to recover from the shock and get our bearings right. I was even stronger than some of them.  

How does one begin to describe my mother? Words fail me. There’s just no way to adequately describe who she was. She was strong. She was bold. She was generous. Full of life! Loving! Fearless! Charismatic! Industrious! She was everything a mother should be and then some. I’m not just saying that because she was my mother. I’m saying it because that was just who she was. A woman who didn’t go to school but insisted right from when I was a baby that I speak to her in Queen’s English. God help the person my mother caught speaking pidgin English to me. Your own don finish be that. Lol. 

I remember the big pots we used to cook at festive periods. In the morning, the first meal would be pounded yam and Egusi soup. My sisters and I would then distribute it to every house on the street and just for the record, my street is a quite a long one. Afternoon was Jollof rice and chicken and its was distributed the same way too. Everyone knew there was always food and a kind word at Iye-Ibie’s house (as they fondly called her). She was the Iye (a bini word for mother) of my area. I remember how crowded my house always was. It was like a small village. You could never tell who lived there or not. People trooped in and out for one reason or the other. How I miss those days!

I remember the day she went to school with me because a teacher had flogged me. She didn’t find it funny. Why would a teacher beat her beloved Eseosa, a child she had never raised her own hand against over an Edo book? A nonsense Edo book! My mother never understood why I had to learn Edo in school. To her, mathematics, English and other subjects were more important as I was an Edo girl and if she wanted, she could teach me the language at home. Kai! That day she took on the entire teaching staff and the principal. That was my mum. You don’t mess with her children. Oh no you don’t. 

They say there’s a reason for everything. Though I may never understand or get rid of the pain (12 years and its still there), I’ve learnt to live with it and channel it into positive pursuits but I’m so grateful and honoured to have had such an amazingly incredible mum. She’s still the wind beneath my wings and is still my driving force. If I can be half the woman she was, I’d have achieved plenty. I know her shoes are way too big for me to fill but I can try and I’m trying my damn best. I would still want her to be her baby if there’s another life. Happy mother’s day Mrs P. U. Ogbeide. Iyenogie! Iye ni ye! Iyenmwen nimose! A mother like no other!