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The Insanity of Resolutions

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When we think of a new year, usually we think of new year resolutions and how we can achieve them this time, at least for me. I have always had new year resolutions but the thing is, I really cannot say if I achieve them or not. If I achieve them, I also cannot say if it was a result of my own actions or the universe helped set it up. I can tell you for free the areas in which I have abysmally failed. It’s easy-losing weight and becoming more spiritual. The point to note here is that these two areas are supremely under my control. I’m a foodie, how am I supposed to diet? Or eat small portions when my stomach is so big? I look at Jennifer Hudson and her new stick-thin figure and I think “na by force? Its not like she actually looks better sef. She looks like a shriveled fruit”. I conveniently forget that she set a goal and achieved it. Like how I was always planning to write especially towards the second quarter of last year and for one reason or the other, I didn’t. Olawale Famuyide begged,  cajoled, threatened, etc but it all came to naught. So he got tired and  started writing himself. And I had so much to share as a lot had happened to me.

But thank God for 2014. A promising year. It’s 11:12pm, Beyonce’s ‘Grown woman’ is on replay and of course, there’s no light. Generator to the rescue. Nepa has been terrible this new 2014 (those of you abroad longing to come back home have got to be kidding me). But I am determined to put my thoughts on paper. Telling myself I’ll do it on my tab hasn’t worked thus far so it’s time to try a different approach. Someone I used to know loved telling me that Insanity could be defined as doing something the same way over and over and expecting a different result. I liked that definition. Still do.

I don’t know if it’s the word ‘resolution’ that’s to blame so I’ve decided to take a different approach this new year and cure my insanity. Remove ‘resolution’ and replace with ‘goal’. Gbam! Different approach number 1. Different approach number 2 is to set realistic goals(according to the so-called life strategists that abound everywhere now). Different approach number 3 is to put it down on pen and paper or in this case, my blog. So here goes:

1. Drop to a size 12 by June which is in 6 months time. Or by Jove, maintain this my size 14 jeje. I must never reach this size 16 that it seems I am now o. Never ever. Oruko Jesu, Ise!

2. Develop a closer walk with the Big Man upstairs. Don’t worry, it’s not like we are not on speaking terms, it’s just that I’d like us to be closer. Na him be the way o #nokidding.

3. Create time for my friends and family. Osayi Edosomwan and Joy Akpomeza, I’m genuinely sorry for missing your weddings. I have no excuse and I am heartbroken. Biko, ayam still your sista o. By hook or by crook, I will be a better friend this year. I’m sorry everyone. Aisha, Onyi, Eyitemi, everyone. I love you and you are an important part of my life. But Aisha, that one no mean say you go come from South Africa emptyhanded. Same to you Chidi, I know you are on your honeymoon but bring my new year gift when you dey come back.

4. I want to laugh more and take myself less seriously this year. I don’t know what happened but 2013 became so serious. I frowned more, brooded like a monk and isolated myself for reasons I’m still trying to identify. But no more. This is the year of sunny beaches, laughter, sunshine, real friends, good wine and colourful shorts. Let the good times roll.

Oh, and by the way, I promise to ping more. I promise not to read pings after 3 days and actually reply to legit Facebook and messages, not those nonsense people that keep trying to scam me. Scam a Bini girl? How? i don’t understand. Na we start the business, just saying. Oh yes, I will tweet, whatsapp, chaton, instagram, keek, tumblr and blog. Hmmm, how I’m supposed to do all that in 24 hours with work and all I have no idea but hey, when there’s a will, there’s a way right?

For some reasons 2014 seems so exciting. It seems so promising. The buzz is contagious and it has affected me. I’ve never gotten so much buzz and thrill about a new year. May our expectations not be cut short.

Happy New Year!!!

Xoxo(sebi that’s the way oyibo people do it)

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